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Stolen Dialogue 2

Wednesday February 17, 2010

“Do you have anything real? I’m tired of all this fiction.”
“The comedian.”
“No. No way.”

“Funny is not my scene.  I don’t want some a*&hole forcing me to laugh.  I want to laugh on my own, when I want to.  No, not the comedian.”

“All right man, let me look around a little bit, see what I can do.  You said real, you want something that actually happened?”

“Yeah, something real.  Maybe like history or science or something.  Not some made up bulls*&t.  Enough of that.  And none of these real life stories either because none of that sh*t is true.  Those guys are just liars.  I don’t know why anybody believes that sh*t.”

Jerry listened, hoping that the laughter wasn’t creeping onto his face.  He hated that about himself, but it had always been true.  When he was uncomfortable or caught off guard, he laughed.  It was what he did, but he really didn’t want to do it now.  Laughing would not improve the mood of this customer.  But really, who was this guy?  They were in a bookstore, not a shooting range.  He was somehow too odd to be afraid of, although Jerry did wish he wasn’t barking his commands so close to the childrens’ section.  Well, it just meant he needed to find a book that would shut him up as quickly as possible.

“I’ve got a good one that has just been flying off the shelves.  It’s called The World is Flat.”

“The World is Flat?  And it’s real,  I mean, it’s not a bunch of made up bullsh*&t?”

“No, it’s real.  The New York Times calls it non-fiction.”

The guy stared at him for what felt like a very long time.  Just as Jerry was beginning to imagine that this guy might be even crazier than he looked, he snatched the book from his hand and stormed towards the registers.


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