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You Had Your Reasons

Friday August 13, 2010

The hotel was $19.99 for a reason. And you were there for reasons of your own … but not the kind everyone might think.

You get what you pay for.  She had always bristled when those words fell from her father’s disapproving lips, but as usual the sentiment was apt.  Just because it’s trite doesn’t mean it’s not true.  These couch cushions were a testament to that.  Looking around at the solitude that twenty bucks had bought her, she wondered, not for the first time, what she was doing here.  In this hotel room, in this town, in this life.  All of it was so simple and straightforward that it took her breath.  Snatched it right from the place by her heart where it was supposed to stay and sustain her.

Pretty is as pretty does.  Her mother’s voice this time, speaking the words that seemed to come more frequently as she had made her way towards adulthood.  Because pretty she was, anyone could see that, but on the inside?  That was a bit harder to see.  Who knew what lie behind the sparkling eyes and the easy laugh?  Of course, no one knew, she had seen to that, but if anyone had an inkling it was her mother.  Mother’s were like that.  They knew things, but everyone else was in the dark.

That’s why she spent $2o on one afternoon a month to sit alone in a hotel room while the kids were at church.  She didn’t even stay the night, just a few hours was enough.  It had to be.  By the time her husband got home from work, she would have picked up the kids and settled herself carefully back into her life.  Her real life.

She had her reasons, but they were some of the only things that were still hers.


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