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The Word Girl

I always imagined that I would have written a book by the time I was 30.  Perhaps it wouldn’t be wildly popular or even published, but it would at least be written.  Well, at 32 that little dream is dead.  Time for a new one.  Book by 35 anyone?  A nice round number I think.

So, what has kept me from showing up for the page all these years?   A few of the easy and obvious scapegoats would be:

  • My actual career (an immediate jump from undergrad to 5 years in a graduate program, followed by a tenure-track academic job in psychology) – who has the time???
  • Distracting life drama (an early – I think- and misguided marriage that imploded and then exploded)

Of course, scapegoats are just that.  Scapegoats.  The real barrier hits a little closer to home.  I haven’t shown up for the page because it scares me.  When you get right down to it, it’s all about fear.  Fear of terrible writing, fear of being selfish for even wanting to write my own story, fear of wasting my time, fear of staring down the damn Critic every time the pen begins to move.  Fear.  It’s that simple.

Now, it’s time to accept the fear and show up for the page anyway.  Yeah.

3 Comments leave one →
  1. Tuesday March 16, 2010 1:20 pm

    I want to know more about YOU!

    • Me permalink*
      Tuesday March 16, 2010 3:40 pm

      Allrighty then! Thanks for the nudge. 🙂

  2. Wednesday April 13, 2011 3:27 pm

    I would have to agree that the fear always seeps in where it just doesn’t belong.

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